Dear Hank and John

Hank Green and John Green

+39 FANS

Hank and John Green (YouTubers and etc.) answer questions, give questionable advice, and talk about Mars (the planet) and AFC Wimbledon (the 3rd tier English football club).

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186 - The Morlon Wiley Way In

42:24 | Apr 22nd

How do you open an envelope? How do companies turn attention into money? What's the deal with the itsy bitsy spider? And more! Get your signed desk sword!!! If you're in need of dubious a...Show More

185 - Time-Traveling Battle Axes

52:29 | Apr 15th

Who owns the bones? Why are American coins so confusing? Would dragon eggs have scales? And more! Follow us on Twitter! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at Join us for monthly livestream...Show More

184 - Lady with the Time Piece (w/ Helen Zaltzman!)

52:16 | Apr 8th

How do you deal with saying something wrong publicly? How far does a squirrel's social sphere extend? Can I ask my friend questions about her surgery? And more! Thanks to Helen Zaltzman for being a temporary Green brother this week! Find more of Hele...Show More

183 - John's Subway Safety Procedures

45:22 | Apr 1st

How do you stay focused on one project for a long time? Should I tell this stranger to examine their zipper? Are there other kinds of ketchup? And more! Follow us on Twitter! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us a...Show More

182 - It’s All Hermeneutics to Me

45:58 | Mar 25th

Are our voices actually slightly deeper? What's going on with paperclips? How do I keep out the chickens? And more! Follow us on Twitter! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at Join us for ...Show More

181 - Comforting Existential Crises (w/ Jana Hisham!)

45:25 | Mar 18th

When are you too old to read YA? How do you get lost in a healthy way? Are there entire civilizations on the bottom of the ocean? And more! Check out Jana's YouTube channel: This episode was recorded live at VidCon London 20...Show More

180 - The Bird Thunderdome (w/ Katherine Green!)

51:09 | Mar 11th

How do I win the bird hospitality battle? Are the keys part of the car? How do I get better at creative writing? And more! You can listen to more Hank & Katherine in Delete This! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at!...Show More

179 - The Queen's Dream Job (w/ Danielle Bainbridge!)

33:28 | Mar 4th

Should I pretend to dislike my sister? How do I not put too much pressure on my dream job? How much salt does it take to mummify a person? And more! Keep learning from Danielle in Origin of Everything! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at...Show More

178 - Snack Man! (Live at PodCon!)

45:38 | Feb 25th

How do I propose to my girlfriend if I can't get down on one knee? How do I get rid of a bad nickname? Should I cause chaos? And more! This episode was recorded live at PodCon 2 in Seattle, WA. If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankand...Show More

177 - Gum Influencers

49:51 | Feb 18th

How do I know if I'm being a know-it-all? How do we survive the 2020 presidential election? At what point does a flying fish become a swimming bird? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at! Join us for monthly...Show More

176 - The Celebrity Life Coaches of Your Dreams

51:56 | Feb 11th

Should penguins go to Mars? Why do we chew rubber? Is this frantic, indecisive squirrel okay? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon...Show More

175 - Burn It All!!!!

43:03 | Feb 4th

What should I put in my journal? Should I sign a card for someone I don't know? What do I do when strangers tell me my shoes are untied? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at! Join us for monthly livestreams...Show More

174 - The Mysterious "Stolen" Car

48:27 | Jan 28th

Am I too old to race down hotel hallways? Is there a stranger in my attic? How do you make plans with a subgroup of friends? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at! Join us for monthly livestreams and an excl...Show More

173 - My Ghost Date, Timothy

53:04 | Jan 21st

What should I do at prom by myself? Can ghosts ride in cars? How do you end a voicemail? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at More

172 - Get in Touch with Your Glitter Side

42:59 | Jan 14th

How do I stop receiving so many Peeps? Why do I have to sneeze immediately after I put on mascara? How do I use a bus? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive ...Show More

171 - Our Pasta-Making Robot Overlords

44:33 | Jan 7th

What do I do when all my friends hang out without me? Are beans basically small potatoes? How do you smuggle a swan internationally? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at! Join us for monthly livestreams and...Show More

170 - You Can Trust Us, We're Aliens

41:28 | Dec 31st, 2018

How do I teach a class I know almost nothing about? What if humans had tails? Why can’t you walk through a drive-through? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusi...Show More

169 - A Perpetual Christmas Civilization That Orbits the Sun

43:39 | Dec 24th, 2018

Why do we put people on pedestals? How can I get better at mornings? What should I hide under the floorboards? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly p...Show More

168 - All of Them, Including LinkedIn

45:44 | Dec 17th, 2018

Where did all the websites go? How do you solve a problem like Maria? What's my brand? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at! Check out our other podcasts in the WNYC Studios network, SciShow Tangents and Th...Show More

167 - A Song Called Shhh

48:15 | Dec 10th, 2018

What should I do about the accordion player outside? Should I take a trip to a strange city by myself? How do I get in the secular Christmas spirit? And more! There are still perks available on the Project for Awesome Indiegogo! Get yours at projectf...Show More

166 - Do Not Enter the Secret Room

43:10 | Dec 3rd, 2018

Why are human babies so useless? What's with Ohio's salad crackers? Why can't I use an umbrella in the snow? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at! Check out our other podcasts in the WNYC Studios network, S...Show More

165 - We're Gonna Make It

50:37 | Nov 26th, 2018

What would it feel like to be microwaved? How do I get my dad to chill on Facebook? How do I confront my roommate about the ferret oatmeal baths? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at! Check out our other po...Show More

164 - The Kurt Vonnegut Special

45:51 | Nov 19th, 2018

How much money should I ask for? How do I talk to my crush? Will climate change make mountains shorter? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at! Check out our other podcasts in the WNYC Studios network, SciSho...Show More

163 - A Man's Man's Guide to Potassium

40:31 | Nov 12th, 2018

How do I convince my boyfriend not to grow a mullet? What do I do with this small, hot towel? Should I destroy my sad friend in Words with Friends? John and Hank have answers to this and more! Check out our other podcasts in the WNYC Studios network,...Show More

Hello from Hank and John!

0:00 | Nov 8th, 2018

Hosts Hank and John Green (authors and YouTubers) offer both humorous and heartfelt advice about life’s big and small questions. They bring their personal passions to each episode by sharing the week’s news from Mars (the planet) and AFC Wimbledon (t...Show More

162 - The Fault in Our Mars

53:21 | Nov 5th, 2018

What tricks can babies do? Should I become a space lawyer? Did I let a guy steal my car? And more! Email us:

161 - Your Dabbing Uncle Hank

50:39 | Oct 29th, 2018

At what point do I fail? What should I do while I'm waiting to be sawed in half? Should I eat the fungus? And more! Email us:

160 - You Are Not My Bus

46:32 | Oct 22nd, 2018

Where should I look when I'm talking to someone? Will aliens ride our roller coasters when we're all dead? Should guests help do the dishes? And more! Email us:

159 - The Horrifying Five-Tined Fork

46:49 | Oct 15th, 2018

How do I get out of this maze? What do I do with this cello? When will I stop having to call my mom to help me figure out life? And more! Email us: We're now on Twitter! Follow us at More

158 - President Alligator

43:15 | Oct 8th, 2018

Why do people hate raisins? Is U2 a boy band? How do I make friends with the people I work with? And more! Email us:

157 - It's My Soundtrack! (w/ Rosianna Halse Rojas!)

48:48 | Oct 1st, 2018

Should I treasure my books more? Can I learn to sleep standing up like a horse? Does everyone have an eighties disco playing in their head? And more! Email us: Find Rosianna: YouTube Make Out With Hi...Show More

156 - There Is a Diversity of Opinions Among the People Who Drive This Car

43:09 | Sep 24th, 2018

How can I avoid having to dress up for Halloween? What do you do when your friends make fun of your friend? How do I artfully display my rib? And more! Email us:

155 - Drunk Fruit Squirrels

39:48 | Sep 17th, 2018

Can I wear my Tuesday shirt on other days? How do I give advice that doesn't hurt feelings but is still helpful? Did I steal this plant? And more! Email us:

154 - You're Doing Great (w/ Tessa Violet!)

44:19 | Sep 10th, 2018

What do I do when I'm asked to lie to children? Should I tell my boss I'm obsessed with her famous son? Why is Dodie so much better at stuff than I am? And more! Check out Tessa on YouTube and wherever you get your music! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail....Show More

153 - Perfectly Normal Art Projects (w/ Sarah Urist Green!)

35:12 | Sep 3rd, 2018

Can I use being an artist as an excuse for being weird? How do museum benches work? What is the best advice a parent can give their child? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.ocm Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this ...Show More

152 - Thank You, Hot Fries!!

52:16 | Aug 27th, 2018

Are we living in a simulation? Are there other types of teeth? What should I do with this bowl? And more! Email us:

151 - Dapper Dudes

46:18 | Aug 20th, 2018

How do I tell my boyfriend he's beautiful? Can I talk to my cousin's ex? How do I figure out my music taste? And more! Email us: The PodCon 2 campaign ends soon! Support it here!

150 - Spicy Limes

56:33 | Aug 14th, 2018

What should I do with this tooth? How do I keep a secret? How do I get out of the shadow of my parents’ triumphs? And more! Email us: PodCon 2 is happening!

149 - Let's Be Mermaids

46:10 | Aug 6th, 2018

Where would you put an extra eye? How do I survive at home alone? Why is underwear a pair? And more! Email us: Thanks to HelloFresh for sponsoring this episode! For $30 off your first week of HelloFre...Show More

148 - Hiding Nuts

53:04 | Jul 23rd, 2018

Why is there no $25 bill? What happens to a person’s consciousness when they're teleported? What does space smell like? And more! Email us: PodCon 2 is happening! Check out the Indiegogo campaign here...Show More

147 - Celebrities on a Plane

57:20 | Jul 16th, 2018

Should I tell my boyfriend he has a fandom? What do you do in a non-reciprocal high five situation? Why are football scarves so short? And more! Email us: Thanks to Brilliant for sponsoring this episo...Show More

146 - Skate with Snakes

52:07 | Jul 2nd, 2018

How did people tell time before clocks? Should I go to a thing just to avoid FOMO? How do I deal with popsicle haters? And more! Email us: Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this episode! Audible is ...Show More

145 - Wait to Panic

52:53 | Jun 18th, 2018

What should I do with the ends of bread? How do you know when you get to the end of the galaxy? How did they livestream the lunar landing? And more! Email us: Thanks to HelloFresh for sponsoring this ...Show More

144 - Great, Robust Berries (w/ Jenny Lawson!)

53:51 | Jun 11th, 2018

What is your innocuous life curse? What should I read when I've outgrown YA? How do I survive without my coping mechanism? And more! Email us: Thanks to Brilliant for sponsoring this episode! Head to ...Show More

143 - Eleven Peas

58:38 | Jun 4th, 2018

Are there any good billionaires? How do I get better at contracts? What are the rules of doctor-patient small talk? And more! Email us: Thanks to Simple Contacts for sponsoring this episode! Get $30 o...Show More

142 - Don't Harsh on My Yums

48:57 | May 28th, 2018

Why do people like ant colonies? What do I do about customers who come in right before close? Where do bugs go when it rains? And more! Email us: Thanks to Brilliant for sponsoring this episode! The f...Show More

141 - Gretel's Instagram Regrets (w/ How to ADHD!)

59:17 | May 21st, 2018

Am I accidentally a horrible person? What should I do with 1,000 business cards? How do I not break my grandmother's heart? And more! Email us: Thanks to Jessica and Edward of How to ADHD for joining ...Show More

140 - The Spoon in the Road

47:12 | May 14th, 2018

How often should I try new food places? How do you break up with someone without crushing them? What's the best way to greet a new neighbor? And more! Email us: Thanks to Skillshare for sponsoring thi...Show More

139 - What If the Moon Was One of Us

41:41 | May 7th, 2018

What should I spend my birthday money on? Is hope a dinosaur? What do I do with 23 plastic molds of my teeth? And more! Email us: Get your Snappy the T. rex shirt here: More

138 - Snappy the T. rex

52:51 | Apr 30th, 2018

Do dead bodies get sunburned? How do you science a baby? Who were the first fans? And more! Take our survey! Your feedback helps us out a lot: Email us:

137 - Manhole & Me

46:01 | Apr 23rd, 2018

Why am I in Seattle? Why are bricks stacked that way in walls? Is nihilism hilarious? And more! Email us:

136 - Wake Up Canadian

47:49 | Apr 17th, 2018

What should I wear to Hamilton? If you work a four-day week, do you still get a hump day? Are books a distorted mirror? And more! Email us: Thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode! Head to S...Show More

135 - Danger Noodles and Little Boops (w/ Emily Graslie!)

1:04:54 | Apr 9th, 2018

How do you throw away a trash can? Which animals have the most awkward adolescent phase? Are humans an invasive species? And more! Email us:

134 - The Millennial Avocadome

47:19 | Apr 2nd, 2018

Are rocks actually soft? What are Pop-Tarts? My boyfriend's ex is dating my ex??? And more!

133 - Fork Bouquet

54:40 | Mar 26th, 2018

What should I do with all these plastic forks? At what age do you grow out of regret? Do ants sleep? And more! Email us:

132 - Schrödinger's Floor

52:24 | Mar 19th, 2018

Why do we need constant mental stimuli? How do I clean my room? Can I still be friends with my ex's family? And more! Email us: Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this episode! Audible is offering li...Show More

131 - Space War Fears

1:07:20 | Mar 12th, 2018

How do I handle the surprise baby hamsters? Can I take things from someone else's shopping cart? Are we all gonna die in a space war? And more! Email us: This episode is sponsored by Squarespace! Head...Show More

130 - The LaCroix Boix

55:45 | Mar 5th, 2018

How much sand is there? How do I unfriend the murder? How does one finance baby? And more! Email us:

129 - The Worst Guest Books

53:06 | Feb 26th, 2018

Am I not invited to my aunt's wedding? Do I tell my friend I clogged their toilet? Is there an Olympic Hall of Urine? And more! Email us: ROLF:

128 - AARTcoin

51:25 | Feb 19th, 2018

Are hitchhiker ants okay? How do I tell my parents I want to study economics? Who is responsible for calling back after a dropped call? And more! Email us: Thanks to RXBAR for sponsoring this episode!...Show More

127 - How to Befriend a Crow

50:36 | Feb 12th, 2018

Should I follow my dreams of having strange animal friends? What would happen if I pee in this humidifier? Is it disrespectful to look at someone while they yawn? And more! Email us: Thanks to Squares...Show More

126 - The Space Alien Orange Peel Health Craze

42:23 | Feb 5th, 2018

Should I spend prom at Target or break up my friends? How does Legolas never run out of arrows? What would happen if all plants ceased to exist? And more! Email us: Some things mentioned: The Anthropo...Show More

125 - Book Hangovers (w/ Sarah Urist Green!)

49:51 | Jan 29th, 2018

How do people love reading when it hurts? How do you make friends in art class? How do you proceed after accidentally slow dancing with someone? And more! Email us: Thanks to HelloFresh for sponsori...Show More

124 - Liars and Litterers and Thieves

56:14 | Jan 23rd, 2018

Can I hoard stolen goods? How do I make sure I don't become a racist? How do I get cookies? And more! Email us: Hank's book is available for preorder! Learn more at This episode is ...Show More

123 - The Incredible Glamorous Hulk

58:09 | Jan 15th, 2018

How do fish get into lakes? How do I stay aware of things without giving them views? Do aliens communicate with sign language? And more! Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this episode! Audible content includes an unmatched selection of audiobooks,...Show More

122 - The Last Brand Deal

57:57 | Jan 8th, 2018

Am I too young to be self-supervised? Can I throw away my dead grandmother's sponges? How do I make a personal retirement PowerPoint for Rick? And more! Email us:

121 - Every Plum Has Its Thorn

46:52 | Dec 25th, 2017

What is the point of love if it always ends? How do I scream? How do I stop a surprise avian ring delivery? And more! Email us:

120 - Snake Cuddle Time

48:25 | Dec 18th, 2017

How do I memorize all the birds? Should I join the Navy? How do you eat trail mix? And more! Email us:

119 - Water Is Dry (w/ Greg Miller!)

57:59 | Dec 11th, 2017

Why don't I have a lifelong friend? How can I become ruler of everyone with my name? What are snails trying to flee?? And more! Email us:

118 - Heavy Baby Bib! (w/ Alex Goldman!)

1:01:32 | Dec 4th, 2017

What counts as significant change? How do you know who you're supposed to buy presents for? Is it weird to let someone know you're thinking of them? And more! Email us:

117 - Lightsaber Your Tiny House

1:00:59 | Nov 27th, 2017

What do you do with cereal dust? What happens if kid doesn't like dog? How did cave people cut their fingernails? And more! Email us:

116 - Do Not Enter the Craft Fort! (w/ Caitlin Hofmeister!)

58:59 | Nov 20th, 2017

How do you surprise loved ones in small apartments? What is the line between archaeology and grave robbing? What is the appropriate time to get into the Christmas season? And more! Email us:

115 - Semi-Immortal 35-Year-Olds on Mars

51:41 | Nov 13th, 2017

What is the smallest part of the body you can be a doctor in? Why do we rub our eyes when we're tired? How do I turn my imagination off long enough to sleep? And more! Email us:

114 - Confused About Batman

44:48 | Nov 6th, 2017

Over the last month, Hank and John have been on the road going to cities all across America. Every stop, they did a short episode of Dear Hank and John, and some of those got recorded. Then Hank edited some of the best of those moments into this podc...Show More

113 - Aardvarks with Guns

43:52 | Oct 30th, 2017

Is outer space full of vampires? Am I engaged? Why haven't our mouths evolved to be better at pumpkin spice lattes? And more! Email us:

112 - Toaster Is a Wolf to Dog

38:44 | Oct 24th, 2017

Where does candle wax go? Can you just switch where you're sitting one day? Does saying "I love you" eventually lose its meaning? And more! Email us:

111 - Omagles All the Way Down

46:00 | Oct 9th, 2017

How do I get in on my neighbor's cranberry bread? How do I live in a very small room? Who's responsible for the divider in a checkout line? And more! Email us:

110 - One and Less Extra Bone

48:40 | Oct 2nd, 2017

Where does all the extra body come from? Why are grapefruits called grapefruits? Is it acceptable to talk about social media in real life? And more! Email us:

109 - The Catastrophizing Kindergarten Teacher

51:00 | Sep 25th, 2017

How do I stop whistling? How do you not get burned out? How do I get rid of a death zit? And more! Email us:

108 - We Would All Be Flounders

50:22 | Sep 18th, 2017

What do I say to my blind date? How do I get my mom to call me less frequently? Are you supposed to ask a father for his daughter's hand in marriage? And more! Email us:

107 - skREvEL!

51:44 | Sep 11th, 2017

Why do I feel safer with the lights on? Why can't my bathtub be in my living room? Am I in danger of being electrocuted? And more! Turtles All the Way Down tour: Email us: patreon....Show More

106 - Cannibal Mermaids

48:54 | Sep 5th, 2017

How far can you get making only right turns? What's the proper response to being constantly serenaded? Does fire have mass? And more! Email us:

105 - Fancy Diving

1:00:57 | Aug 28th, 2017

Is cake salty? How do I get alone time at a party without a cigarette? Where is the rest of An Imperial Affliction? And more! Email us:

104 - Dove Quivering

45:56 | Aug 21st, 2017

Why am I afraid of something I know doesn’t exist? Can I avoid scurvy by sticking my arm in a giant vat of orange juice? What is proper etiquette for a cat birthday party? And more! Get 10% off your first purchase by going to or h...Show More

103 - There Are No Boxes (w/ Gaby Dunn!)

1:02:52 | Aug 14th, 2017

What is a mug without a handle? When's the right time to get a Saturn tattoo? Should I come out when I'm not ready? And more! Email us:

102 - The Friend Bucket

46:36 | Aug 7th, 2017

Could you take down a coyote with your arms? Should people be allowed to put things in someone else's Netflix queue? How do I cope with social anxiety? And more! Email us:

101 - Knit like a Mofo

44:14 | Jul 31st, 2017

What would happen if all mosquitoes die? What do I do about my surprise YouTube celebrity boyfriend? What's the truth about John Lennon's "Imagine"? And more! Email us:

100 - 100th Episode Extravaganza Spectacular!!!

1:03:00 | Jul 24th, 2017

Who was the first joshing Josh? Do bugs understand glass? How do I learn to chill? And more! Email us:

099 - A Fusing of the Hair

49:31 | Jul 3rd, 2017

What do I do if my spouse wants to shave his head? Why are there birds at the airport? What if I'm not as well read as my boyfriend? And more! Email us:

098 - An Army of Burrito Children (w/ Dodie Clark!)

56:46 | Jun 26th, 2017

How do you deal with the dissipation of your future plans? Should I tell my parents I met my boyfriend on Tinder? How do I succeed if I'm not a go-getter? And more! Email us:

097 - Lemon Salty Whales

49:54 | Jun 19th, 2017

When should I introduce my kid to Star Wars? Can I dislike parts of my life even though I have privilege? How did humans start swimming? And more! Email us:

096 - Next Level Laziness

49:08 | Jun 12th, 2017

If you put in work to be lazy, is it still laziness? Does Lin Manuel Miranda listen to Hamilton for funzies? At what point are you supposed to put water on a toothbrush? And more! Email us:

095 - Lawn Care Vigilantism

56:41 | Jun 5th, 2017

What should my fun fact about me be? How do Christians and non-Christians get along? Am I too old to listen to this podcast? And more! Email us:

Special Shorty with Travis McElroy

24:01 | Jun 4th, 2017

Hank and Travis answer exactly two questions and, let's be honest, we did this entirely to let you know that the PodCon IndieGoGo campaign is very very close to ending. Please come hit us up at to see what it's all about and whether you'd ...Show More

094 - Pocket Conspiracy Theories (w/ Matthew Gaydos!)

1:09:20 | May 29th, 2017

Is Hank a reptilian-human hybrid? How do I grieve and also be there for my students? What do you do when you do something terrible by accident? And more! Email us:

093 - Nothing Fits on a Bumper Sticker

42:08 | May 22nd, 2017

Can a writer mess with science for poetic purposes? If you enjoy Narnia, would you enjoy The Fountainhead? Is there a right social construct to teach? And more!

092 - Cewebrity

49:03 | May 15th, 2017

Should I contact the guy who owns the plane on which I was born? Are art and content different? Does it matter that the guy I'm dating has a six pack while I eat a lot of tacos? And more! PodCon! More

091 - Everything Is Everything (w/ Mayim Bialik!)

56:05 | May 8th, 2017

Why do I like the smell of gasoline? What should I do about my racist boss? What is the clothes fastener technology in Star Wars? And more! Email us:

090 - Glitter Soul

50:35 | May 2nd, 2017

Are you really in the clear with liquor before beer? Should I embrace the error on my birth certificate? Does it really matter where I go to college? And more! Email us: Patreon:

089 - A Rich Guy with an Affinity for Bats

1:02:54 | Apr 24th, 2017

Is Batman a superhero? How do I claim an island as my own? Is there a "no politics" rule in dating? And more! Email us:

088 - Hank's Profound Graduation Speech

48:32 | Apr 10th, 2017

Why do rich people like golf so much? What color is the sky on Mars? How much do I need to fact-check news before I share it? Where are bird ears??? And more! Email us:

087 - The Future Is Gonna Rule

51:14 | Apr 3rd, 2017

How do I develop a cool signature? How do I tell my dad I've been hiding a snake for several months? Is it acceptable to shout advice at strangers? And more! Email us:

086 - This Week in Ryans

48:56 | Mar 27th, 2017

Do taller people have bigger organs? Are more expensive clothes actually better? Is there a secular way to say you're "praying" for someone? And more! Email us:

085 - Stay Gold, Potaterson

49:43 | Mar 20th, 2017

What should my motto be? What vegetable is happiness? When is enough really enough? And more! Email us:

084 - Live from NerdCon: Nerdfighteria!

1:00:18 | Mar 13th, 2017

Where are all the fireflies? What is "the spark"? Was Alexander Hamilton or Sirius Black a bigger drama queen? And more!

083 - There's No Rock and Roll on Mars

50:29 | Mar 6th, 2017

Is the Big Bang really a thing? Does the driver or the passenger get to pick the music? What if someone gets pregnant on Mars? And more! Email us:

082 - Where There Was Previously Nothing

48:07 | Feb 20th, 2017

How long until everyone is related to Beyoncé? When does parenting stop sucking? How can I help the world without being rich? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: Email your questions:

081 - Always Making Progress Forever

50:04 | Feb 13th, 2017

Can you separate the artist from the work? How do bugs survive microwaves? Will we ever be a perfectly unified planet? And more! Sarah's cookies! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteri...Show More

080 - Life Is Hard and Also Has Good Things

50:06 | Feb 6th, 2017

What are the top ten kinds of spoons? Why do boys kiss like dying fish? What would happen if we lost gravity for fifteen seconds? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: Email your questions:

079 - Tiny Useless Pelvises (That Are Still There)

41:29 | Jan 30th, 2017

How nice do you have to be at the grocery store? How do we know humans didn't come from Mars? What is sound even? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: Email your questions:

078 - Being Sure

55:25 | Jan 23rd, 2017

How do I stop catfishing someone? How do I not feel embarrassed sharing my writing? Should I DIY my shirt? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: Email your questions:

077 - Save Us, Giant Octopus

41:41 | Jan 16th, 2017

Should you always imagine people complexly? Would constellations be different on Mars? How many trees would you have to plant to offset your carbon footprint? And more!

076 - The Best of Dear Hank & John

42:30 | Jan 9th, 2017

A look back on some of the most memorable moments in the history of the pod! Featuring: Jurassic Mars, Ryan, OH MY GOD IT'S BURNING, John's atrocious cereal eating habits, pumpkins and penguins, the long con, and more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: More

075 - The Nutrient Coconut Milk of Sin (w/ Katherine Green!)

57:34 | Jan 3rd, 2017

Who does my cat think I am? Is listening to music a waste of time? Should we get a new coconut? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: Email your questions:

074 - The Kindness Muscle

46:59 | Dec 28th, 2016

How do I deal with finals stress? What building would you haunt? How do I teach my kid not to bully? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: Email your questions:

073 - Planes, Trains, and Automosqueals

48:02 | Dec 19th, 2016

What do you do if you're lost in the forest? Is Santa subject to trademark laws? Should I take a boring job for money? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: Email your questions:

072 - Planet Dirt (Hank Returns!)

49:18 | Dec 12th, 2016

Is Die Hard a Christmas movie? Should I tell my mom about my risky plans? What is the tipping point for apocalypse chaos? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: Email your questions:

071 - Only Pause for Applause (w/ Hannah Hart!)

47:53 | Dec 6th, 2016

Help, I can't tell my roommates apart! What if my relationship has an expiry date? How much reflection should you do after finishing a book? And more!

070 - The Rhythmic Thud of the Space Bar (w/ Ashley Ford!)

54:47 | Nov 22nd, 2016

How do we move forward post-Election Day? How do you know when/if to have kids? Why does the space bar sound like that? And more!

069 - Live from NerdCon: Stories (w/ Karen Hallion!)

1:20:59 | Nov 7th, 2016

Who is the foxiest founding father? How do I convince my boyfriend to not go to Mars? Is all my sister's stuff mine now? And more!

068 - Gaga in Space (w/ Tyler Oakley!)

42:15 | Nov 1st, 2016

Are quesadillas sandwiches? What is the ideal OK Cupid match percentage? How much of another person's food am I allowed to consume? And more!

067 - Feeling Home

59:21 | Oct 24th, 2016

Should I ghost out of my job? Are bubble baths a hobby or an interest? How do I not feel like a forever foreigner? And more!

066 - A Great Bit of Oratory

51:25 | Oct 17th, 2016

How do I keep enjoying music I enjoyed with an ex? How do I recover from being doused in bull semen? What are my responsibilities when people ask me to watch their stuff? And more!

065 - But... You're a Horse

45:00 | Oct 3rd, 2016

Should we fear a locust apocalypse? Will listening to Japanese while I sleep help me remember it? How do I remain confident in my art around older, more experienced artists? And more!

064 - Really Terrible Scandinavian Geography Lessons

49:26 | Sep 26th, 2016

Why won't people accept my tissues? Should half-wolf children be vaccinated? What do I do when I see a stranger crying in public? And more!

063 - World Queen

51:36 | Sep 19th, 2016

What do I do while people are singing "Happy Birthday"? What are mushrooms even? Is it okay to want people to not be wrong? And more!

062 - Pumpkins and Penguins (and Fiddles)

55:11 | Sep 12th, 2016

How do I go about my secret fiddle long con? Why do almost all zippers have the letters YKK on them? Do bugs ever have a destination in mind when they walk around aimlessly? And more!

061 - Tiny Acts of Kindness

49:37 | Sep 6th, 2016

How do gas planets work? What is proper door etiquette? Is Hank going to put the lime in the coconut and drink it all together? And more!

060 - There is Almost Always a Future

45:45 | Aug 30th, 2016

Where all all the dead birds? Should I really live each day of my life like it's my last? Am I a fraud for being a social chameleon? And more!

059 - Hank's Disaster Preparedness Plan

45:11 | Aug 22nd, 2016

What is my actual favorite color? At what point in the day do I switch to "have a good night" as my go-to courtesy? What do I do when The Big One hits? And more!

058 - That's the Science (w/ Flula!)

49:50 | Aug 16th, 2016

Why are there holes in crackers? What is proper hot tub etiquette? Can I snapchat politicians about immigration reform? And more!

057 - Og Nomekop

41:06 | Aug 9th, 2016

How do I organize someone else's books? How do I justify the money allocated to extending my life? How does tug of war work? And more!

056 - Is It Going to Throw Up?

53:03 | Aug 2nd, 2016

How do I dad? Are expiration dates just suggestions? What do I call the people I work with? Do I really need to get drunk on my twenty-first birthday? And more!

055 - A Proper Dumpster Fire

57:22 | Jul 26th, 2016

Should I sell cold, fresh potty water? Why don't we write phonetically? Why do I like all this sad stuff? And more!

054 - Nerd Punk

52:11 | Jul 6th, 2016

Are bell peppers airtight? How do I quit smoking? Why is that new baby smell so good? And more!

053 - The Worst Episode Ever

46:29 | Jun 30th, 2016

Do fish swim? Is Hank snapchatting? How do I stop my earphones from getting tangled? How do I deal with a job that I hate? And more!

052 - We are in this together.

50:14 | Jun 21st, 2016

Will my laptop sterilize me? Do you like (or write) fanfiction? Where is the rest of the lizard whose tail I found in my room? And more!

051 - Weird/Bad Dancefighting

44:15 | Jun 15th, 2016

What are nerdfighters fighting? How do I learn to enjoy physical activity? How do I stop talking about Mars in my sleep? And more!

050 - Things Are Like Other Things

49:35 | Jun 7th, 2016

Why isn't John on Hank's Top 8 on MySpace? What is the correct way to eat an Oreo? Is my can opener a sign that I've entered an alternate universe? And more!

049 - Not Not An Adult (w/ Sydney Green!)

41:24 | May 31st, 2016

How do you define adulthood? Is it slice of pizza or piece of pizza? How do I reclaim my armrest when I'm in the middle seat? And more!

048 - Pizza John Priorities

39:48 | May 24th, 2016

Is Pizza John inherently unsexy? Should I court familial disaster? Where else can I seek dubious advice? And more! AFC update tag music is 'News Sting' by Kevin MacLeod.

047 - You're Gonna Be Okay

47:57 | May 17th, 2016

How do I mourn a mug? What if it had been Vlogsisters instead of Vlogbrothers? How do I navigate roommatedom? And more!

046 - Brotherhood 3.0

45:56 | May 2nd, 2016

Where are all the Bob Ross paintings? Why is a minor injury more painful to me than literal childbirth? How do I get myself a surprise party? And more!

045 - Not Knowing

52:58 | Apr 26th, 2016

Should I feel guilty about liking Hamilton? Why aren't we talking about our impending death by Yellowstone? Should I be saving all my burrito money for the economic apocalypse? And more!

044 - A Life Sandwich

52:47 | Apr 20th, 2016

How do I find joy when my main source of it has been taken away? How do I deal with my unfortunate name, which is not Ryan? How do I handle compliments? How do I deal with over-the-top laughter? How do I deal with the closest thing there is to death?...Show More

043 - Gotta Be Kitten

45:56 | Apr 12th, 2016

Why do people put up with banana opportunity cost? How do I deal with bird attacks? Chemtrails: what's up with them? And more!

042 - Mayonnaise Malaise

49:17 | Apr 5th, 2016

Am I making unethical sandwich decisions? Am I a sucker for not cheating in school? Do we need drive-thru reform? Why do farts smell worse in the shower? And more!

041 - In the Absence of Toes

51:51 | Mar 29th, 2016

Have we checked in on the bees? What would happen if you lost your big toe? How do you stir hot cocoa efficiently? And more!

040 - Almost Distressingly Good Advice

54:22 | Mar 21st, 2016

How Canadian am I, really? How should I unpack? How do I reconcile my ideals with my actions? And more!

039 - Feelings are Alright (With Katherine Green)

1:04:53 | Mar 16th, 2016

How do I overcome pizza betrayal? What's the deal with sesame seeds? How do I solve my sibling ball crisis? What do I do in Montana? How do I deal with my driving anxiety? And more!

038 - The Smelling in Your Dwelling

53:48 | Mar 8th, 2016

Why don't bugs die when we flick them? Why do we talk the way we do? What's the deal with dollars in movies? How much would it cost to buy the world a coke? And more!

037 - The Floridiest Place

56:15 | Mar 2nd, 2016

How do you reattach John's head? Why aren't supreme court justices chosen more efficiently? How do you hug? Does Mars have seasons? Why don't people eat grass like cows?

036 - Grief is Super Weird

55:54 | Feb 23rd, 2016

Is there a secret planet opposite ours? Is strawberry flavor fooling us all? How can we be better listeners? Why do people ghost other people?

035 - Should I Get Baptized if I Don't Believe?

48:00 | Feb 16th, 2016

Am I Lisa Turtle or Screech? What would happen to lava on the sun? After blowing ones nose, why does one look into the Kleenex? Coconuts are hairy an make milk, are they mammals? When does the early 2000s become "The Turn of the Century"? AND OTHER Q...Show More

034 - YouTube Freaky Friday

46:09 | Feb 9th, 2016

Can I eat expired Mac N Cheese? What would you do if you only had 300 subscribers on YouTube? Is a kitty on my lap an excuse for tardiness? What if you dumped the sun into a massive MASSIVE bucket of water? What do you do when someone asks you a ques...Show More

033 - Putting Water in Cereal?!

51:38 | Feb 3rd, 2016

Why do we fall for clickbait? Why do smells become normal? Why do we call aluminum foil "tin foil?" Why do people always ask where I'm from? My name is boring! Are four-sided bananas safe to eat?! THESE AND OTHER QUESTIONS, ANSWERED FOR YOU TODAY!

032 - Broccoli Flavored Chocolate

46:56 | Jan 27th, 2016

Can create fresh water by boiling the sea with a giant magnifying glass? Is suffering necessary for us to appreciate the beauty in life? What about asteroids and super-volcanos! Should a heart be judged by how much it loves or by how much it's loved?

031 - Breakin' the Law (and Being Good.)

43:46 | Jan 19th, 2016

Should I give up on my dreams of changing the world? Is mayonnaise an instrument? Why are DVD cases not squares? Can you burn a cucumber? Does the moon have Earth eclipses? Do you have anonymous social profiles?

030 - Ending the Hiaaeetus!

44:10 | Jan 11th, 2016

What do you do when your couple friends stop hanging with single you? Should we imagine evil people complexly? Could you light Saturn on fire? How long could humans survive only eating humans? And then we discuss our over/unders for age of death.

029 - Barbershop Genghis

38:48 | Dec 22nd, 2015

Do you need to be a Patreon supporter to get your question answered? How do I make my partner comfortable at his first Christmas with my family? Why are mini-M&Ms better than the regular kind? Why do we always assume life needs water? And an importan...Show More

028 - John's Top Ten Probable Apocalypse List

44:41 | Dec 15th, 2015

Why are there no feral cows? What are you looking at? Should you say "Bless You" when someone coughs? What would happen if the magnetic poles reversed? How do I keep my nerves from getting the best of me (while playing competitive Pokemon)? What can ...Show More

027 - Giving Gifts Without Breaking the Bank

40:54 | Dec 7th, 2015

Did we discover the periodic table, or did we invent it? How do you start running a business with friends? How would one go about crashing the moon into the Earth? Is an emoji a word? And finally, most importantly, when is it ok to start listening to...Show More

026 - Should I Make Out With My Roommate?

46:27 | Dec 1st, 2015

How do I choose an ethical engagement ring? There's a wasp trapped in my dorm room! How do I know which arm rest is mine at the movie theater? And a question about grammar...from our father. Also, we have a patreon now: More


42:00 | Nov 23rd, 2015

Why are we so obsessed with zombies? What do you do if your dentist tries to talk to you when you obviously can't talk? How do beat my girlfriend's gift skills? Should I try to re-kindle a friendship with someone who I did something nasty to? AND OTH...Show More

024 - The Great Finger Licking Debate

42:46 | Nov 17th, 2015

How do you learn new things as an adult? Oral surgery advice? Worrying about hexagons and etc!


45:05 | Nov 9th, 2015

Why do different trees change color at different times? What if a friend isn't creating their creative work that you love? Some advice for job and scholarship interviews. How do I express empathy properly? How should I feel about getting worse at Tet...Show More

022 - Post-Menopausal Cousin Marriage

36:08 | Nov 3rd, 2015

How should toilet paper be dispensed? Help! My fingers are glued together! If you hover a helicopter in the same place for 24 hours, why don't you travel around the earth? What food weird combinations do you like? What should I do if a scholarship re...Show More

021 - Who Am I?

47:46 | Oct 26th, 2015

Halloween costume advice. Does John think people are evil? Misunderstanding Risk. Advice for referees of kids soccer games. Would the Bat Signal actually work? How does the stock market work? And, of course, a very brief discussion of the self.

020 - This Episode Contains Puke

48:03 | Oct 20th, 2015

Should I cave to my parents and have them at my wedding? Are we just cats? Why does 98 degrees feel hot if that's my body temperature? How do I read slow books? What do you do when your loved one is in a pyramid scheme?

019 - Should I Abandon My Stuffed Animal?

34:29 | Oct 11th, 2015

Should I watch YouTube ads? How do I make friends with my old neighbors? What do I do when my daughter won't sleep because she's always on the internet? When is it worth arguing on the internet? Will climate change mess with forecasts?

018 - Coming to Terms with your Nerdiness

43:27 | Oct 6th, 2015

How do I balance my marriage with my career? What if your job isn't morally ambiguous? Is there something wrong with me if I am informed but also not sure who to vote for? But boy do we spend a lot of time on that first one because we clearly think ...Show More

017 - Meeting Taylor Swift('s parents)

43:35 | Sep 29th, 2015

How do I stop projecting onto people? What do you do when you get pigeonholed as "the smart kid"? Is English class valuable? And of you have any advice for new drivers...of course we very careful and do not kill us. NOTE: This wa...Show More

016 - Handling Awful Roomates

51:43 | Sep 21st, 2015

Hey! Let's talk about Patrick Rothfuss's beard! Also, talking with Nathalie, falling asleep instead of singing, and how to run a press junket. It's a pretty weird and varied episode of Dear Hank and John! A comedy podcast about death.

015 - Get That In Your Mouth!

42:00 | Sep 14th, 2015

What is art? Should we lower the drinking age? What kind of liquor is the best? Who should I play with on Mario Kart? How do decrease my impact on the environment without money? What do you do when "The One" leaves you? And OTHER QUESTIONS ANSWERED!!

014 - Jurassic Mars

49:37 | Sep 9th, 2015

Do other people exist? How do I become a good middle school teacher? How do I know if I'm being egotistical? What is "home" and will I ever find it? And a secret that Hank has never told anyone and is totally ashamed of!

013 - John and Hank and Wheezy Waiter!

39:37 | Aug 31st, 2015

How do you make friends? What's your favorite planet? What would happen if you fell into Jupiter? Is it all downhill from 30? What sports did you play? If you could be a prodigy at any one thing what would it be? Edited by Nicholas Jenkins.Theme mus...Show More

012 - Tree Climbing Strategies

39:08 | Aug 25th, 2015

Do old people love minions? Do you believe in the multi-verse? What languages would you Matrix into your brain? How do you pick a sports team? What do fish dream about? These and other questions answered in this delightful episode of Dear Hank and Jo...Show More

011 - How do you "Make Something of Yourself"?

37:37 | Aug 17th, 2015

If you could punch anyone in the face, who would it be? Do you need to "protect your image"? Do adults continue to change as they get older? What are some cheap date ideas? If you could invent a new word, what would it be? These and other questions (...Show More

010 - When Your Friend Likes Ayn Rand...

42:53 | Aug 11th, 2015

Dear Hank and John now with 100% MORE JOHN! Here we discuss what to do when a young relationship is endangered by different goals, whether memory implants would be awesome or awful, and how to pick books and TV shows in a world of infinite content.

009 - Dear Hank and Felicia

48:06 | Aug 4th, 2015

Can you ruin your life in high school? How do you un-friend someone IRL? What video game world would you live in? Hank Green and Guest-John Felicia Day take on these questions and more in the final episode before John's return next week!

008 - Dear Hank and Grace!

57:49 | Jul 28th, 2015

How do you adjust to a new culture in a new town? Do I have to study at an Ivy League school? Should I keep chasing my dream? Grace and Hank have all the answers!

007 - What to do About Stomach Farts

52:36 | Jul 21st, 2015

How do you avoid being pretentious when you're intelligent, Charlie and Jimmy's school uniforms, when to look for a new job, and all the news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon.

006 - Would You Eat a Moon Sandwich? (With Emma Blackery)

1:16:31 | Jul 14th, 2015

Hank is joined by Emma Blackery ( to give you some dubious advice about gherkins, Google Plus, fate and being short.

005 - Should I Lie to Get a Job? With Maureen Johnson

1:01:02 | Jul 6th, 2015

With John out of town on the Paper Towns press tour, Hank calls on long-time John-replacement Maureen Johnson to help co-host this extra long edition of Dear Hank and John. In it, we discuss the science of sight, whether it's OK to lie to get a job, ...Show More

004 - What's in a Name?

47:40 | Jun 29th, 2015

Will a nickname change who I am? Are the bees OK? Should I go to a fancy college? And is it OK if you don't feel as sad as you think you should?

003 - Pain Demands to be Felt.

38:31 | Jun 22nd, 2015

In which Hank and John discuss pain, the Istari, eschatology, and the slowness of apocalypses. Thank you to all of the many people sending in questions to

002 - It's a Humor Podcast!

43:24 | Jun 15th, 2015

In which Hank and John answer questions about global development, chronic pain, and being depressed in hotel rooms. It's a humor podcast!!

The Debut: Do You Pee on Your Own Head?

24:18 | Jun 6th, 2015

John and Hank get together for the very first time to answer to answer a bunch of questions. Will we go to Ava's wedding? What college major will help the world most? Have you ever peed on your own head? Will humans eventually colonize the galaxy? Wh...Show More