podcast cover
Comedy

Dear Hank and John

Hank Green and John Green

+43 FANS
Hank and John Green (YouTubers and etc.) answer questions, give questionable advice, and talk about Mars (the planet) and AFC Wimbledon (the 3rd tier English football club).
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36:54 | Sep 16th

Why are unmoving escalators so disconcerting? What do I do about the plant that died while I was house sitting? What should I tell people who think I'm moving to the worst place in the world? Should I tell my mom you're still alive? What condiment wo...Show More

37:05 | Sep 9th

How should I act around my professor who is also my peer? Do the knobs on toasters control heat or time? How do I not get matching tattoos with my mom? Do you ever think about where all your hair is in the world? How can I be less judgmental? How sho...Show More

36:58 | Sep 2nd

Should I call this strange number back? What have I missed on the pod? Why are your faves your faves? Don't you need more than lemons for lemonade? How do I get the money out of this coin bank? Should I get bangs? Should I change my email address? Wh...Show More

35:44 | Aug 26th

How do I make this flesh-eating bacteria sound safe? How do I tell my housemate not to get a crockpot? Am I as unlikeable as the character I wrote? Does my friend live with a ghost? How did conspiracy theories spread before the internet? Why are the ...Show More

47:05 | Aug 19th

What do I do with 15 pounds of cornbread? Where do song lyrics live in our brains? Why are we here? How did people get answers before Google? How often should I vacuum? Do wedding pianists get anxious? When are my vegetable plants ready? Can I skip t...Show More

46:45 | Aug 12th

Where are the natural wheels? How do I make a conspiracy theorist understand that space exists? What are SEO tools? Should we market climate change better? Why are car horns so primitive? How do I confront my mortality compared to red curry paste? Wh...Show More

43:58 | Aug 5th

Can a sentient statue run for president? How do I attend a show solo? How can I be bougie enough for art frames? Could Elsa solve climate change? How can I not be a sobbing mess on my wedding day? Should I make a new ring for my dad? What should I do...Show More

45:17 | Jul 29th

What is the setup for this joke? What's with people waving from boats? Why don't cartoons change their outfits? How do I tell someone I’ll be back but not RIGHT back? What is your self-care routine? How do I follow soccer? Where are all the Bob Ross ...Show More

40:33 | Jul 22nd

Over the last couple years, John and Hank have bestowed upon the world some true gems of advice and anecdotes. We compiled some favorites in one episode for you to enjoy! We'll be back with a regular episode next week, so if you're in need of dubious...Show More

43:50 | Jul 15th

What's with birthday cake flavor? How do we know where we are in space? Are we the last generation of humans? Is it safe to shower when the power is out? Can I be a dyslexic nerdfighter? What do I wear to a pirate-themed wedding? What is the physics ...Show More

41:15 | Jul 8th

How do I promote myself? Are museums better explored individually or as a group? What should I do with memorabilia I don't intend to display? What do I do when someone's in my seat? How should Sincere sign off emails? Why do bugs die on their backs? ...Show More

40:47 | Jul 1st

How did they decide doorbells should go ding dong? How do I get my coworkers out of my personal life? Why does Hank have button-up jeans? How do you not worry that everything you write has been written before? What are the odds that I'm part pigeon? ...Show More

46:16 | Jun 24th

What should I do with all these keys? How do I unrecommend a raunchy novel to my grandma? What's a good psychology team name? What is the most effective way to pull an all-nighter? What should I call my girlfriend's parents? Why are middle schoolers ...Show More

43:27 | Jun 17th

How do I advance past the waving stage of acquaintanceship? What does one do at conferences? My friend based a character off of me but the character sucks? How do I get in my house if I'm locked out? From where does a giant African land snail poop? C...Show More

45:16 | Jun 10th

Why do I cry more easily as I get older? What is SPF? What are healthy methods to combat loneliness? What should I do if I busted a hole in the wall while bonding with my sibling? How do I be less curt in texts and emails? Where does John consume his...Show More

46:46 | Jun 3rd

Vanessa Hill of BrainCraft joins Hank to answer your questions! Has it ever not been raining? Can I change my major if I have a scholarship? Should there be compulsory voting? How do I learn to ride a bike? What is tipping etiquette in the US? When i...Show More

43:10 | May 27th

What is the dress code if there is no dress code? Where can I be anxious at work? What should I do with 72 tall vases? How can I avoid having to do dishes? How can I grow my own vegetables if the Sun is in the wrong place? How do I sort out my priori...Show More

48:11 | May 20th

How do I get people to remember who I am? What do I do about the Red Bull I spilled in a kid's backpack? How do I deal with my girlfriend's unaccepting parents? Does cold water boil faster than hot water? Which way should a staple face? Is it possibl...Show More

48:52 | May 13th

Do a lot of people swerve? What constitutes black coffee? How do I make mac and cheese if I don't have milk? What is the rage/luck relationship when it comes to pennies? How do I find out my therapist's name? Should I give books to people who don't l...Show More

45:21 | May 6th

What is the proper thing to do with abandoned table beer? What's the best way to spend time on trains? How do I move on when my favorite show ends? How do I sleep in without waking up with a backache? Should I have played "The Imperial March" at a we...Show More

40:46 | Apr 29th

How do I fairly distribute my hugs? Could black holes suck up the Earth? How do I change the way I walk? How can I support my stressed-out dad? What's the best way to receive negative performance reviews? What do I do if I vomit at work? Why don't an...Show More

42:24 | Apr 22nd

How do you open an envelope? How do companies turn attention into money? What's the deal with the itsy bitsy spider? And more! Get your signed desk sword!!! https://store.dftba.com/products/john-green-signed-desk-swords If you're in need of dubious a...Show More

52:29 | Apr 15th

Who owns the bones? Why are American coins so confusing? Would dragon eggs have scales? And more! Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestream...Show More

52:16 | Apr 8th

How do you deal with saying something wrong publicly? How far does a squirrel's social sphere extend? Can I ask my friend questions about her surgery? And more! Thanks to Helen Zaltzman for being a temporary Green brother this week! Find more of Hele...Show More

45:22 | Apr 1st

How do you stay focused on one project for a long time? Should I tell this stranger to examine their zipper? Are there other kinds of ketchup? And more! Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn If you're in need of dubious advice, email us a...Show More

45:58 | Mar 25th

Are our voices actually slightly deeper? What's going on with paperclips? How do I keep out the chickens? And more! Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for ...Show More

45:25 | Mar 18th

When are you too old to read YA? How do you get lost in a healthy way? Are there entire civilizations on the bottom of the ocean? And more! Check out Jana's YouTube channel: youtube.com/aFriendlyArab This episode was recorded live at VidCon London 20...Show More

51:09 | Mar 11th

How do I win the bird hospitality battle? Are the keys part of the car? How do I get better at creative writing? And more! You can listen to more Hank & Katherine in Delete This! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com!...Show More

33:28 | Mar 4th

Should I pretend to dislike my sister? How do I not put too much pressure on my dream job? How much salt does it take to mummify a person? And more! Keep learning from Danielle in Origin of Everything! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at...Show More

45:38 | Feb 25th

How do I propose to my girlfriend if I can't get down on one knee? How do I get rid of a bad nickname? Should I cause chaos? And more! This episode was recorded live at PodCon 2 in Seattle, WA. If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankand...Show More

49:51 | Feb 18th

How do I know if I'm being a know-it-all? How do we survive the 2020 presidential election? At what point does a flying fish become a swimming bird? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly...Show More

51:56 | Feb 11th

Should penguins go to Mars? Why do we chew rubber? Is this frantic, indecisive squirrel okay? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon...Show More

43:03 | Feb 4th

What should I put in my journal? Should I sign a card for someone I don't know? What do I do when strangers tell me my shoes are untied? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams...Show More

48:27 | Jan 28th

Am I too old to race down hotel hallways? Is there a stranger in my attic? How do you make plans with a subgroup of friends? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an excl...Show More

53:04 | Jan 21st

What should I do at prom by myself? Can ghosts ride in cars? How do you end a voicemail? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/...Show More

42:59 | Jan 14th

How do I stop receiving so many Peeps? Why do I have to sneeze immediately after I put on mascara? How do I use a bus? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive ...Show More

44:33 | Jan 7th

What do I do when all my friends hang out without me? Are beans basically small potatoes? How do you smuggle a swan internationally? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and...Show More

41:28 | Dec 31st, 2018

How do I teach a class I know almost nothing about? What if humans had tails? Why can’t you walk through a drive-through? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusi...Show More

43:39 | Dec 24th, 2018

Why do we put people on pedestals? How can I get better at mornings? What should I hide under the floorboards? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly p...Show More

45:44 | Dec 17th, 2018

Where did all the websites go? How do you solve a problem like Maria? What's my brand? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Check out our other podcasts in the WNYC Studios network, SciShow Tangents and Th...Show More

48:15 | Dec 10th, 2018

What should I do about the accordion player outside? Should I take a trip to a strange city by myself? How do I get in the secular Christmas spirit? And more! There are still perks available on the Project for Awesome Indiegogo! Get yours at projectf...Show More

43:10 | Dec 3rd, 2018

Why are human babies so useless? What's with Ohio's salad crackers? Why can't I use an umbrella in the snow? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Check out our other podcasts in the WNYC Studios network, S...Show More

50:37 | Nov 26th, 2018

What would it feel like to be microwaved? How do I get my dad to chill on Facebook? How do I confront my roommate about the ferret oatmeal baths? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Check out our other po...Show More

45:51 | Nov 19th, 2018

How much money should I ask for? How do I talk to my crush? Will climate change make mountains shorter? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Check out our other podcasts in the WNYC Studios network, SciSho...Show More

40:31 | Nov 12th, 2018

How do I convince my boyfriend not to grow a mullet? What do I do with this small, hot towel? Should I destroy my sad friend in Words with Friends? John and Hank have answers to this and more! Check out our other podcasts in the WNYC Studios network,...Show More

0:00 | Nov 8th, 2018

Hosts Hank and John Green (authors and YouTubers) offer both humorous and heartfelt advice about life’s big and small questions. They bring their personal passions to each episode by sharing the week’s news from Mars (the planet) and AFC Wimbledon (t...Show More

53:21 | Nov 5th, 2018

What tricks can babies do? Should I become a space lawyer? Did I let a guy steal my car? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

50:39 | Oct 29th, 2018

At what point do I fail? What should I do while I'm waiting to be sawed in half? Should I eat the fungus? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

46:29 | Oct 22nd, 2018

Where should I look when I'm talking to someone? Will aliens ride our roller coasters when we're all dead? Should guests help do the dishes? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

46:46 | Oct 15th, 2018

How do I get out of this maze? What do I do with this cello? When will I stop having to call my mom to help me figure out life? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn We're now on Twitter! Follow us at twitter.com/dearh...Show More

43:12 | Oct 8th, 2018

Why do people hate raisins? Is U2 a boy band? How do I make friends with the people I work with? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

48:45 | Oct 1st, 2018

Should I treasure my books more? Can I learn to sleep standing up like a horse? Does everyone have an eighties disco playing in their head? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Find Rosianna: YouTube Make Out With Hi...Show More

43:06 | Sep 24th, 2018

How can I avoid having to dress up for Halloween? What do you do when your friends make fun of your friend? How do I artfully display my rib? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

39:45 | Sep 17th, 2018

Can I wear my Tuesday shirt on other days? How do I give advice that doesn't hurt feelings but is still helpful? Did I steal this plant? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

44:16 | Sep 10th, 2018

What do I do when I'm asked to lie to children? Should I tell my boss I'm obsessed with her famous son? Why is Dodie so much better at stuff than I am? And more! Check out Tessa on YouTube and wherever you get your music! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail....Show More

35:10 | Sep 3rd, 2018

Can I use being an artist as an excuse for being weird? How do museum benches work? What is the best advice a parent can give their child? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.ocm patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this ...Show More

52:12 | Aug 27th, 2018

Are we living in a simulation? Are there other types of teeth? What should I do with this bowl? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

46:15 | Aug 20th, 2018

How do I tell my boyfriend he's beautiful? Can I talk to my cousin's ex? How do I figure out my music taste? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn The PodCon 2 campaign ends soon! Support it here!

56:30 | Aug 14th, 2018

What should I do with this tooth? How do I keep a secret? How do I get out of the shadow of my parents’ triumphs? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn PodCon 2 is happening!

46:06 | Aug 6th, 2018

Where would you put an extra eye? How do I survive at home alone? Why is underwear a pair? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Thanks to HelloFresh for sponsoring this episode! For $30 off your first week of HelloFre...Show More

53:00 | Jul 23rd, 2018

Why is there no $25 bill? What happens to a person’s consciousness when they're teleported? What does space smell like? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn PodCon 2 is happening! Check out the Indiegogo campaign here...Show More

57:17 | Jul 16th, 2018

Should I tell my boyfriend he has a fandom? What do you do in a non-reciprocal high five situation? Why are football scarves so short? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Thanks to Brilliant for sponsoring this episo...Show More

52:03 | Jul 2nd, 2018

How did people tell time before clocks? Should I go to a thing just to avoid FOMO? How do I deal with popsicle haters? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this episode! Audible is ...Show More

52:49 | Jun 18th, 2018

What should I do with the ends of bread? How do you know when you get to the end of the galaxy? How did they livestream the lunar landing? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Thanks to HelloFresh for sponsoring this ...Show More

53:48 | Jun 11th, 2018

What is your innocuous life curse? What should I read when I've outgrown YA? How do I survive without my coping mechanism? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Thanks to Brilliant for sponsoring this episode! Head to ...Show More

58:34 | Jun 4th, 2018

Are there any good billionaires? How do I get better at contracts? What are the rules of doctor-patient small talk? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Thanks to Simple Contacts for sponsoring this episode! Get $30 o...Show More

48:54 | May 28th, 2018

Why do people like ant colonies? What do I do about customers who come in right before close? Where do bugs go when it rains? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Thanks to Brilliant for sponsoring this episode! The f...Show More

59:14 | May 21st, 2018

Am I accidentally a horrible person? What should I do with 1,000 business cards? How do I not break my grandmother's heart? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Thanks to Jessica and Edward of How to ADHD for joining ...Show More

47:09 | May 14th, 2018

How often should I try new food places? How do you break up with someone without crushing them? What's the best way to greet a new neighbor? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Thanks to Skillshare for sponsoring thi...Show More

41:38 | May 7th, 2018

What should I spend my birthday money on? Is hope a dinosaur? What do I do with 23 plastic molds of my teeth? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Get your Snappy the T. rex shirt here: https://store.dftba.com/product...Show More

52:47 | Apr 30th, 2018

Do dead bodies get sunburned? How do you science a baby? Who were the first fans? And more! Take our survey! Your feedback helps us out a lot: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/dhjsurvey2018 Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

45:57 | Apr 23rd, 2018

Why am I in Seattle? Why are bricks stacked that way in walls? Is nihilism hilarious? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

47:46 | Apr 17th, 2018

What should I wear to Hamilton? If you work a four-day week, do you still get a hump day? Are books a distorted mirror? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode! Head to S...Show More

1:04:50 | Apr 9th, 2018

How do you throw away a trash can? Which animals have the most awkward adolescent phase? Are humans an invasive species? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

47:15 | Apr 2nd, 2018

Are rocks actually soft? What are Pop-Tarts? My boyfriend's ex is dating my ex??? And more!

54:36 | Mar 26th, 2018

What should I do with all these plastic forks? At what age do you grow out of regret? Do ants sleep? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

52:20 | Mar 19th, 2018

Why do we need constant mental stimuli? How do I clean my room? Can I still be friends with my ex's family? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this episode! Audible is offering li...Show More

50:36 | Mar 12th, 2018

How do I handle the surprise baby hamsters? Can I take things from someone else's shopping cart? Are we all gonna die in a space war? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn This episode is sponsored by Squarespace! Head...Show More

55:41 | Mar 5th, 2018

How much sand is there? How do I unfriend the murder? How does one finance baby? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

53:02 | Feb 26th, 2018

Am I not invited to my aunt's wedding? Do I tell my friend I clogged their toilet? Is there an Olympic Hall of Urine? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn ROLF: https://store.dftba.com/products/rolf

51:22 | Feb 19th, 2018

Are hitchhiker ants okay? How do I tell my parents I want to study economics? Who is responsible for calling back after a dropped call? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Thanks to RXBAR for sponsoring this episode!...Show More

50:33 | Feb 12th, 2018

Should I follow my dreams of having strange animal friends? What would happen if I pee in this humidifier? Is it disrespectful to look at someone while they yawn? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Thanks to Squares...Show More

42:20 | Feb 5th, 2018

Should I spend prom at Target or break up my friends? How does Legolas never run out of arrows? What would happen if all plants ceased to exist? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Some things mentioned: The Anthropo...Show More

49:44 | Jan 29th, 2018

How do people love reading when it hurts? How do you make friends in art class? How do you proceed after accidentally slow dancing with someone? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Thanks to HelloFresh for sponsoring...Show More

56:06 | Jan 23rd, 2018

Can I hoard stolen goods? How do I make sure I don't become a racist? How do I get cookies? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn Hank's book is available for preorder! Learn more at hankgreen.com. This episode is spon...Show More

58:01 | Jan 15th, 2018

How do fish get into lakes? How do I stay aware of things without giving them views? Do aliens communicate with sign language? And more! Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this episode! Audible content includes an unmatched selection of audiobooks, ...Show More

57:49 | Jan 8th, 2018

Am I too young to be self-supervised? Can I throw away my dead grandmother's sponges? How do I make a personal retirement PowerPoint for Rick? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

46:46 | Dec 25th, 2017

What is the point of love if it always ends? How do I scream? How do I stop a surprise avian ring delivery? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

48:18 | Dec 18th, 2017

How do I memorize all the birds? Should I join the Navy? How do you eat trail mix? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn
ARCHIVED: The podcast creator has made this episode no longer available for listening.

0:00 | Dec 15th, 2017

In which Hank and John moooostly talk about the Project for Awesome, but we also find out what the palm of your foot is called, how Hank is so good at Scandinavian pronunciation, and how far your obligation to correct fake facts you accidentally spre...Show More

57:51 | Dec 11th, 2017

Why don't I have a lifelong friend? How can I become ruler of everyone with my name? What are snails trying to flee?? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

1:01:24 | Dec 4th, 2017

What counts as significant change? How do you know who you're supposed to buy presents for? Is it weird to let someone know you're thinking of them? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

1:00:51 | Nov 27th, 2017

What do you do with cereal dust? What happens if kid doesn't like dog? How did cave people cut their fingernails? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

58:51 | Nov 20th, 2017

How do you surprise loved ones in small apartments? What is the line between archaeology and grave robbing? What is the appropriate time to get into the Christmas season? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

51:34 | Nov 13th, 2017

What is the smallest part of the body you can be a doctor in? Why do we rub our eyes when we're tired? How do I turn my imagination off long enough to sleep? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

44:42 | Nov 6th, 2017

Over the last month, Hank and John have been on the road going to cities all across America. Every stop, they did a short episode of Dear Hank and John, and some of those got recorded. Then Hank edited some of the best of those moments into this podc...Show More

43:45 | Oct 30th, 2017

Is outer space full of vampires? Am I engaged? Why haven't our mouths evolved to be better at pumpkin spice lattes? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

38:39 | Oct 24th, 2017

Where does candle wax go? Can you just switch where you're sitting one day? Does saying "I love you" eventually lose its meaning? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

45:53 | Oct 9th, 2017

How do I get in on my neighbor's cranberry bread? How do I live in a very small room? Who's responsible for the divider in a checkout line? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

48:33 | Oct 2nd, 2017

Where does all the extra body come from? Why are grapefruits called grapefruits? Is it acceptable to talk about social media in real life? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

50:53 | Sep 25th, 2017

How do I stop whistling? How do you not get burned out? How do I get rid of a death zit? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankdandjohn

50:14 | Sep 18th, 2017

What do I say to my blind date? How do I get my mom to call me less frequently? Are you supposed to ask a father for his daughter's hand in marriage? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

51:36 | Sep 11th, 2017

Why do I feel safer with the lights on? Why can't my bathtub be in my living room? Am I in danger of being electrocuted? And more! Turtles All the Way Down tour: http://www.turtlesallthewaydownbook.com/#tour Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.co...Show More

48:47 | Sep 5th, 2017

How far can you get making only right turns? What's the proper response to being constantly serenaded? Does fire have mass? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

1:00:48 | Aug 28th, 2017

Is cake salty? How do I get alone time at a party without a cigarette? Where is the rest of An Imperial Affliction? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

45:49 | Aug 21st, 2017

Why am I afraid of something I know doesn’t exist? Can I avoid scurvy by sticking my arm in a giant vat of orange juice? What is proper etiquette for a cat birthday party? And more! Get 10% off your first purchase by going to hover.com/dearhank or ho...Show More

1:02:43 | Aug 14th, 2017

What is a mug without a handle? When's the right time to get a Saturn tattoo? Should I come out when I'm not ready? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

46:29 | Aug 7th, 2017

Could you take down a coyote with your arms? Should people be allowed to put things in someone else's Netflix queue? How do I cope with social anxiety? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

44:08 | Jul 31st, 2017

What would happen if all mosquitoes die? What do I do about my surprise YouTube celebrity boyfriend? What's the truth about John Lennon's "Imagine"? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

1:02:51 | Jul 24th, 2017

Who was the first joshing Josh? Do bugs understand glass? How do I learn to chill? And more! probablysignedturtles.com Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

49:23 | Jul 3rd, 2017

What do I do if my spouse wants to shave his head? Why are there birds at the airport? What if I'm not as well read as my boyfriend? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

56:38 | Jun 26th, 2017

How do you deal with the dissipation of your future plans? Should I tell my parents I met my boyfriend on Tinder? How do I succeed if I'm not a go-getter? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

49:47 | Jun 19th, 2017

When should I introduce my kid to Star Wars? Can I dislike parts of my life even though I have privilege? How did humans start swimming? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

49:01 | Jun 12th, 2017

If you put in work to be lazy, is it still laziness? Does Lin Manuel Miranda listen to Hamilton for funzies? At what point are you supposed to put water on a toothbrush? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

56:33 | Jun 5th, 2017

What should my fun fact about me be? How do Christians and non-Christians get along? Am I too old to listen to this podcast? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn
ARCHIVED: The podcast creator has made this episode no longer available for listening.

0:00 | Jun 4th, 2017

Hank and Travis answer exactly two questions and, let's be honest, we did this entirely to let you know that the PodCon IndieGoGo campaign is very very close to ending. Please come hit us up at PodCon.com to see what it's all about and whether you'd ...Show More

1:09:10 | May 29th, 2017

Is Hank a reptilian-human hybrid? How do I grieve and also be there for my students? What do you do when you do something terrible by accident? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

42:02 | May 22nd, 2017

Can a writer mess with science for poetic purposes? If you enjoy Narnia, would you enjoy The Fountainhead? Is there a right social construct to teach? And more!

48:56 | May 15th, 2017

Should I contact the guy who owns the plane on which I was born? Are art and content different? Does it matter that the guy I'm dating has a six pack while I eat a lot of tacos? And more! PodCon! https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/podcon-podcast/x/18...Show More

55:57 | May 8th, 2017

Why do I like the smell of gasoline? What should I do about my racist boss? What is the clothes fastener technology in Star Wars? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

50:28 | May 2nd, 2017

Are you really in the clear with liquor before beer? Should I embrace the error on my birth certificate? Does it really matter where I go to college? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com Patreon: patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

1:02:45 | Apr 24th, 2017

Is Batman a superhero? How do I claim an island as my own? Is there a "no politics" rule in dating? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

48:25 | Apr 10th, 2017

Why do rich people like golf so much? What color is the sky on Mars? How much do I need to fact-check news before I share it? Where are bird ears??? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

51:07 | Apr 3rd, 2017

How do I develop a cool signature? How do I tell my dad I've been hiding a snake for several months? Is it acceptable to shout advice at strangers? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

48:49 | Mar 27th, 2017

Do taller people have bigger organs? Are more expensive clothes actually better? Is there a secular way to say you're "praying" for someone? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

49:36 | Mar 20th, 2017

What should my motto be? What vegetable is happiness? When is enough really enough? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

1:00:09 | Mar 13th, 2017

Where are all the fireflies? What is "the spark"? Was Alexander Hamilton or Sirius Black a bigger drama queen? And more!

50:22 | Mar 6th, 2017

Is the Big Bang really a thing? Does the driver or the passenger get to pick the music? What if someone gets pregnant on Mars? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@gmail.com

48:00 | Feb 20th, 2017

How long until everyone is related to Beyoncé? When does parenting stop sucking? How can I help the world without being rich? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: hankandjohn@gmail.com

49:57 | Feb 13th, 2017

Can you separate the artist from the work? How do bugs survive microwaves? Will we ever be a perfectly unified planet? And more! Sarah's cookies! https://digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout/sarah755035 NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria....Show More

49:59 | Feb 6th, 2017

What are the top ten kinds of spoons? Why do boys kiss like dying fish? What would happen if we lost gravity for fifteen seconds? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: hankandjohn@gmail.com

41:23 | Jan 30th, 2017

How nice do you have to be at the grocery store? How do we know humans didn't come from Mars? What is sound even? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: hankandjohn@gmail.com

55:17 | Jan 23rd, 2017

How do I stop catfishing someone? How do I not feel embarrassed sharing my writing? Should I DIY my shirt? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: hankandjohn@gmail.com

41:34 | Jan 16th, 2017

Should you always imagine people complexly? Would constellations be different on Mars? How many trees would you have to plant to offset your carbon footprint? And more!

42:24 | Jan 9th, 2017

A look back on some of the most memorable moments in the history of the pod! Featuring: Jurassic Mars, Ryan, OH MY GOD IT'S BURNING, John's atrocious cereal eating habits, pumpkins and penguins, the long con, and more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.ner...Show More

57:26 | Jan 3rd, 2017

Who does my cat think I am? Is listening to music a waste of time? Should we get a new coconut? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: hankandjohn@gmail.com

46:52 | Dec 28th, 2016

How do I deal with finals stress? What building would you haunt? How do I teach my kid not to bully? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: hankandjohn@gmail.com

47:55 | Dec 19th, 2016

What do you do if you're lost in the forest? Is Santa subject to trademark laws? Should I take a boring job for money? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: hankandjohn@gmail.com

49:10 | Dec 12th, 2016

Is Die Hard a Christmas movie? Should I tell my mom about my risky plans? What is the tipping point for apocalypse chaos? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: http://www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: hankandjohn@gmail.com

47:47 | Dec 6th, 2016

Help, I can't tell my roommates apart! What if my relationship has an expiry date? How much reflection should you do after finishing a book? And more!

54:40 | Nov 22nd, 2016

How do we move forward post-Election Day? How do you know when/if to have kids? Why does the space bar sound like that? And more!

1:20:48 | Nov 7th, 2016

Who is the foxiest founding father? How do I convince my boyfriend to not go to Mars? Is all my sister's stuff mine now? And more!

42:09 | Nov 1st, 2016

Are quesadillas sandwiches? What is the ideal OK Cupid match percentage? How much of another person's food am I allowed to consume? And more!

59:13 | Oct 24th, 2016

Should I ghost out of my job? Are bubble baths a hobby or an interest? How do I not feel like a forever foreigner? And more!

51:18 | Oct 17th, 2016

How do I keep enjoying music I enjoyed with an ex? How do I recover from being doused in bull semen? What are my responsibilities when people ask me to watch their stuff? And more!

44:53 | Oct 3rd, 2016

Should we fear a locust apocalypse? Will listening to Japanese while I sleep help me remember it? How do I remain confident in my art around older, more experienced artists? And more!

49:19 | Sep 26th, 2016

Why won't people accept my tissues? Should half-wolf children be vaccinated? What do I do when I see a stranger crying in public? And more!

51:28 | Sep 19th, 2016

What do I do while people are singing "Happy Birthday"? What are mushrooms even? Is it okay to want people to not be wrong? And more!

55:03 | Sep 12th, 2016

How do I go about my secret fiddle long con? Why do almost all zippers have the letters YKK on them? Do bugs ever have a destination in mind when they walk around aimlessly? And more!

49:30 | Sep 6th, 2016

How do gas planets work? What is proper door etiquette? Is Hank going to put the lime in the coconut and drink it all together? And more!

45:39 | Aug 30th, 2016

Where all all the dead birds? Should I really live each day of my life like it's my last? Am I a fraud for being a social chameleon? And more!

45:05 | Aug 22nd, 2016

What is my actual favorite color? At what point in the day do I switch to "have a good night" as my go-to courtesy? What do I do when The Big One hits? And more!

49:43 | Aug 16th, 2016

Why are there holes in crackers? What is proper hot tub etiquette? Can I snapchat politicians about immigration reform? And more!

41:00 | Aug 9th, 2016

How do I organize someone else's books? How do I justify the money allocated to extending my life? How does tug of war work? And more!

52:55 | Aug 2nd, 2016

How do I dad? Are expiration dates just suggestions? What do I call the people I work with? Do I really need to get drunk on my twenty-first birthday? And more!

57:14 | Jul 26th, 2016

Should I sell cold, fresh potty water? Why don't we write phonetically? Why do I like all this sad stuff? And more!

52:04 | Jul 6th, 2016

Are bell peppers airtight? How do I quit smoking? Why is that new baby smell so good? And more!

46:22 | Jun 30th, 2016

Do fish swim? Is Hank snapchatting? How do I stop my earphones from getting tangled? How do I deal with a job that I hate? And more!

50:07 | Jun 21st, 2016

Will my laptop sterilize me? Do you like (or write) fanfiction? Where is the rest of the lizard whose tail I found in my room? And more!

44:08 | Jun 15th, 2016

What are nerdfighters fighting? How do I learn to enjoy physical activity? How do I stop talking about Mars in my sleep? And more!

49:28 | Jun 7th, 2016

Why isn't John on Hank's Top 8 on MySpace? What is the correct way to eat an Oreo? Is my can opener a sign that I've entered an alternate universe? And more!

41:18 | May 31st, 2016

How do you define adulthood? Is it slice of pizza or piece of pizza? How do I reclaim my armrest when I'm in the middle seat? And more!

39:42 | May 24th, 2016

Is Pizza John inherently unsexy? Should I court familial disaster? Where else can I seek dubious advice? And more! AFC update tag music is 'News Sting' by Kevin MacLeod. http://incompetech.com

47:50 | May 17th, 2016

How do I mourn a mug? What if it had been Vlogsisters instead of Vlogbrothers? How do I navigate roommatedom? And more!

45:50 | May 2nd, 2016

Where are all the Bob Ross paintings? Why is a minor injury more painful to me than literal childbirth? How do I get myself a surprise party? And more!

52:51 | Apr 26th, 2016

Should I feel guilty about liking Hamilton? Why aren't we talking about our impending death by Yellowstone? Should I be saving all my burrito money for the economic apocalypse? And more!

52:40 | Apr 20th, 2016

How do I find joy when my main source of it has been taken away? How do I deal with my unfortunate name, which is not Ryan? How do I handle compliments? How do I deal with over-the-top laughter? How do I deal with the closest thing there is to death?...Show More

45:49 | Apr 12th, 2016

Why do people put up with banana opportunity cost? How do I deal with bird attacks? Chemtrails: what's up with them? And more!

49:10 | Apr 5th, 2016

Am I making unethical sandwich decisions? Am I a sucker for not cheating in school? Do we need drive-thru reform? Why do farts smell worse in the shower? And more!

51:44 | Mar 29th, 2016

Have we checked in on the bees? What would happen if you lost your big toe? How do you stir hot cocoa efficiently? And more!

54:15 | Mar 21st, 2016

How Canadian am I, really? How should I unpack? How do I reconcile my ideals with my actions? And more!

1:04:43 | Mar 16th, 2016

How do I overcome pizza betrayal? What's the deal with sesame seeds? How do I solve my sibling ball crisis? What do I do in Montana? How do I deal with my driving anxiety? And more!

53:40 | Mar 8th, 2016

Why don't bugs die when we flick them? Why do we talk the way we do? What's the deal with dollars in movies? How much would it cost to buy the world a coke? And more!

56:07 | Mar 2nd, 2016

How do you reattach John's head? Why aren't supreme court justices chosen more efficiently? How do you hug? Does Mars have seasons? Why don't people eat grass like cows?

55:46 | Feb 23rd, 2016

Is there a secret planet opposite ours? Is strawberry flavor fooling us all? How can we be better listeners? Why do people ghost other people?

47:54 | Feb 16th, 2016

Am I Lisa Turtle or Screech? What would happen to lava on the sun? After blowing ones nose, why does one look into the Kleenex? Coconuts are hairy an make milk, are they mammals? When does the early 2000s become "The Turn of the Century"? AND OTHER Q...Show More

46:02 | Feb 9th, 2016

Can I eat expired Mac N Cheese? What would you do if you only had 300 subscribers on YouTube? Is a kitty on my lap an excuse for tardiness? What if you dumped the sun into a massive MASSIVE bucket of water? What do you do when someone asks you a ques...Show More

51:31 | Feb 3rd, 2016

Why do we fall for clickbait? Why do smells become normal? Why do we call aluminum foil "tin foil?" Why do people always ask where I'm from? My name is boring! Are four-sided bananas safe to eat?! THESE AND OTHER QUESTIONS, ANSWERED FOR YOU TODAY!

46:49 | Jan 27th, 2016

Can create fresh water by boiling the sea with a giant magnifying glass? Is suffering necessary for us to appreciate the beauty in life? What about asteroids and super-volcanos! Should a heart be judged by how much it loves or by how much it's loved?

43:40 | Jan 19th, 2016

Should I give up on my dreams of changing the world? Is mayonnaise an instrument? Why are DVD cases not squares? Can you burn a cucumber? Does the moon have Earth eclipses? Do you have anonymous social profiles?

44:03 | Jan 11th, 2016

What do you do when your couple friends stop hanging with single you? Should we imagine evil people complexly? Could you light Saturn on fire? How long could humans survive only eating humans? And then we discuss our over/unders for age of death.

38:42 | Dec 22nd, 2015

Do you need to be a Patreon supporter to get your question answered? How do I make my partner comfortable at his first Christmas with my family? Why are mini-M&Ms better than the regular kind? Why do we always assume life needs water? And an importan...Show More

44:34 | Dec 15th, 2015

Why are there no feral cows? What are you looking at? Should you say "Bless You" when someone coughs? What would happen if the magnetic poles reversed? How do I keep my nerves from getting the best of me (while playing competitive Pokemon)? What can ...Show More

40:48 | Dec 7th, 2015

Did we discover the periodic table, or did we invent it? How do you start running a business with friends? How would one go about crashing the moon into the Earth? Is an emoji a word? And finally, most importantly, when is it ok to start listening to...Show More

46:20 | Dec 1st, 2015

How do I choose an ethical engagement ring? There's a wasp trapped in my dorm room! How do I know which arm rest is mine at the movie theater? And a question about grammar...from our father. Also, we have a patreon now: https://www.patreon.com/dearha...Show More

41:54 | Nov 23rd, 2015

Why are we so obsessed with zombies? What do you do if your dentist tries to talk to you when you obviously can't talk? How do beat my girlfriend's gift skills? Should I try to re-kindle a friendship with someone who I did something nasty to? AND OTH...Show More

42:40 | Nov 17th, 2015

How do you learn new things as an adult? Oral surgery advice? Worrying about hexagons and etc!

44:59 | Nov 9th, 2015

Why do different trees change color at different times? What if a friend isn't creating their creative work that you love? Some advice for job and scholarship interviews. How do I express empathy properly? How should I feel about getting worse at Tet...Show More

36:03 | Nov 3rd, 2015

How should toilet paper be dispensed? Help! My fingers are glued together! If you hover a helicopter in the same place for 24 hours, why don't you travel around the earth? What food weird combinations do you like? What should I do if a scholarship re...Show More

47:39 | Oct 26th, 2015

Halloween costume advice. Does John think people are evil? Misunderstanding Risk. Advice for referees of kids soccer games. Would the Bat Signal actually work? How does the stock market work? And, of course, a very brief discussion of the self.

47:56 | Oct 20th, 2015

Should I cave to my parents and have them at my wedding? Are we just cats? Why does 98 degrees feel hot if that's my body temperature? How do I read slow books? What do you do when your loved one is in a pyramid scheme?

34:24 | Oct 11th, 2015

Should I watch YouTube ads? How do I make friends with my old neighbors? What do I do when my daughter won't sleep because she's always on the internet? When is it worth arguing on the internet? Will climate change mess with forecasts?

43:21 | Oct 6th, 2015

How do I balance my marriage with my career? What if your job isn't morally ambiguous? Is there something wrong with me if I am informed but also not sure who to vote for? But boy do we spend a lot of time on that first one because we clearly think a...Show More

43:29 | Sep 29th, 2015

How do I stop projecting onto people? What do you do when you get pigeonholed as "the smart kid"? Is English class valuable? And of course...do you have any advice for new drivers...of course we do...be very careful and do not kill us. NOTE: This was...Show More

51:36 | Sep 21st, 2015

Hey! Let's talk about Patrick Rothfuss's beard! Also, talking with Nathalie, falling asleep instead of singing, and how to run a press junket. It's a pretty weird and varied episode of Dear Hank and John! A comedy podcast about death.

41:54 | Sep 14th, 2015

What is art? Should we lower the drinking age? What kind of liquor is the best? Who should I play with on Mario Kart? How do decrease my impact on the environment without money? What do you do when "The One" leaves you? And OTHER QUESTIONS ANSWERED!!

49:30 | Sep 9th, 2015

Do other people exist? How do I become a good middle school teacher? How do I know if I'm being egotistical? What is "home" and will I ever find it? And a secret that Hank has never told anyone and is totally ashamed of!

39:32 | Aug 31st, 2015

How do you make friends? What's your favorite planet? What would happen if you fell into Jupiter? Is it all downhill from 30? What sports did you play? If you could be a prodigy at any one thing what would it be? Edited by Nicholas Jenkins.Theme musi...Show More

39:03 | Aug 25th, 2015

Do old people love minions? Do you believe in the multi-verse? What languages would you Matrix into your brain? How do you pick a sports team? What do fish dream about? These and other questions answered in this delightful episode of Dear Hank and Jo...Show More

37:32 | Aug 17th, 2015

If you could punch anyone in the face, who would it be? Do you need to "protect your image"? Do adults continue to change as they get older? What are some cheap date ideas? If you could invent a new word, what would it be? These and other questions (...Show More

42:47 | Aug 11th, 2015

Dear Hank and John now with 100% MORE JOHN! Here we discuss what to do when a young relationship is endangered by different goals, whether memory implants would be awesome or awful, and how to pick books and TV shows in a world of infinite content.

47:59 | Aug 4th, 2015

Can you ruin your life in high school? How do you un-friend someone IRL? What video game world would you live in? Hank Green and Guest-John Felicia Day take on these questions and more in the final episode before John's return next week!

57:41 | Jul 28th, 2015

How do you adjust to a new culture in a new town? Do I have to study at an Ivy League school? Should I keep chasing my dream? Grace and Hank have all the answers!

52:28 | Jul 21st, 2015

How do you avoid being pretentious when you're intelligent, Charlie and Jimmy's school uniforms, when to look for a new job, and all the news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon.

1:16:20 | Jul 14th, 2015

Hank is joined by Emma Blackery (youtube.com/emmablackery) to give you some dubious advice about gherkins, Google Plus, fate and being short.

1:01:55 | Jul 6th, 2015

With John out of town on the Paper Towns press tour, Hank calls on long-time John-replacement Maureen Johnson to help co-host this extra long edition of Dear Hank and John. In it, we discuss the science of sight, whether it's OK to lie to get a job, ...Show More

47:33 | Jun 29th, 2015

Will a nickname change who I am? Are the bees OK? Should I go to a fancy college? And is it OK if you don't feel as sad as you think you should?

38:26 | Jun 22nd, 2015

In which Hank and John discuss pain, the Istari, eschatology, and the slowness of apocalypses. Thank you to all of the many people sending in questions to hankandjohn@gmail.com.

43:18 | Jun 15th, 2015

In which Hank and John answer questions about global development, chronic pain, and being depressed in hotel rooms. It's a humor podcast!!

24:14 | Jun 6th, 2015

John and Hank get together for the very first time to answer to answer a bunch of questions. Will we go to Ava's wedding? What college major will help the world most? Have you ever peed on your own head? Will humans eventually colonize the galaxy? Wh...Show More