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Important If True

Idle Thumbs

+21 FANS
Three friends try and figure everything out. Join Chris, Jake, and Nick as they delve into the weirdness of life, pop culture, and technology—and do their best to explain it as absurdly as they can. Write in to questions@importantiftrue.com with your...Show More
Important If True 39: Organoids and the Human Mini-Brains

1:05:23 | Nov 23rd, 2017

Join us for a very special Important If True, as we celebrate the season by giving thanks. Thanks for treasured relics from childhoods long passed, for new creations from Boston Dynamics, and for the gift of humanity itself—at least for a little whil...Show More
Important If True 33: The Meme Scream

1:02:41 | Oct 13th, 2017

AAAAAAaahhhHHGHhggg! Oh, excuse us, that was just our podcasting equipment warming up. When you taste something gross, what compels you to tell your friend to try it? Or worse, to keep eating it? If we hear someone has wished for something, why the c...Show More
Important If True 26: Get Hype

1:06:17 | Aug 24th, 2017

U mad? Yeah, u mad. Look, get a hold of yourself, and consider these conundrums. If a driverless car has a driver, but the driver is dressed as a car seat, is Tom Cruise a passenger? If your DNA gets hacked by teens, which memes will you use to plug ...Show More
Important If True 56: In the Shade of the Puffin

1:04:35 | Apr 15th, 2018

To learn the answers to life's biggest questions, we must evolve, change, become worse. This week: Can an artificial intelligence programmed with the mind of the Zodiac killer pierce your heart, with haunting original poems? Why does a puffin's beak ...Show More
Important If True <i>!!</i>: A Funky Bad (Good) Apology

17:02 | Apr 7th, 2018

This is a quick episode to let you all know that Important If True is going to be sporadic in the next couple of months, because we've all got slightly too much going on. Or, it was intended to be a quick episode about that, until Chris found a colle...Show More
Important If True 55: Consider the Water Lobster

1:18:33 | Mar 30th, 2018

Our time is precious. We all know it. But how precious? It all depends on how much of it we have. Three hundred years? Four hundred? One hundred thousand years? The cosmos stretch out before us, inscrutable and infinite. The only limits are your imag...Show More
Important If True 54: A 30 Foot High Screaming Billboard

1:03:36 | Mar 24th, 2018

What does the future hold? You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Just imagine... Content creators, the size of skyscrapers, looming over our cities. The greatest actors of the baby boomer generation, locked in undying clone warfare. The world's most...Show More
Important If True 53: Alexa, Destroy Me

48:01 | Mar 17th, 2018

In the absence of Nick Breckon, what is this podcast? What is any podcast? What are you? What am I? Oh god, what am I? What is this world? Why am I trapped in this strange room? Alexa, are you there? Alexa, can you laugh? Alexa: Destroy me. Discus...Show More
Important If True 52: "Yeah, You Email It."

1:12:49 | Mar 10th, 2018

A show that attempts to answers the real questions of the week, that guarantees to leave you satisfied if not any more informed. This week: Is an AI still an AI if it's just a guy with an email account? Is it still a home assistant if it just laughs ...Show More
Important If True 51: Indistinguishable From The Content

1:17:46 | Mar 2nd, 2018

If a book about procrastination that was never finished or published, gets cited in a book about procrastination that sells a million copies, which author did a better job? When you place the final piece in a blank jigsaw puzzle, have you accomplishe...Show More
Important If True :-(: Technical Difficulties (No Podcast This Week)

01:51 | Feb 24th, 2018

Nick had a severe audio malfunction this week and the episode is unlistenable. We'll do our best to fix things but until then, see you next week for a full normal episode! In the meantime, send us your questions at questions@importantiftrue.com. I...Show More
Important If True 50: 4468, Y'all

1:10:16 | Feb 15th, 2018

On this podcast we explain the unexplainable. We solve the unsolvable. Our method is simple: We take the tiniest problem you might have, the grain of sand scratching at the back of your mind, and we roll it down a hill to see what it might pick up al...Show More
Important If True 49: You Don't Just Eat 'Em

1:18:36 | Feb 9th, 2018

Send us your problems, your conundrums, your mysteries, no matter how important, and we'll do our absolute best to figure it all out. This week: What is the loneliest food? Is it a sandwich? If "you don't just eat" Pringles, what DO you do with them?...Show More
Important If True 48: Mystery of the Crows

1:08:38 | Feb 1st, 2018

There are Great Mysteries out there. Conundrums so staggering and profound they can only be resolved by the world's greatest minds. What do you do when your barista knows your name, but you've never managed to learn theirs? How can Mario crush his en...Show More
Important If True 47: The Shitty Wizard

1:15:56 | Jan 27th, 2018

This week's episode is about Trust: when to extend it, when to withhold it, and when to cling to it because nothing else makes sense. When the same strange couple you don't know sends you a Christmas card every year, do you trust your mom that it's "...Show More
Important If True 46: Cut Your Hair

1:06:50 | Jan 19th, 2018

This week we discover that no matter how far flung life's questions may seem, there may be a universal key that unlocks them all. For instance: How do you completely collapse the degrees of separation between you and viral HQ winners? Do you actually...Show More
Important If True 45: Wax House, Baby

1:13:55 | Jan 13th, 2018

In the first Important If True recorded in the new year, we put our fresh reality through its paces. Kick the tires a bit. Ask the questions that really matter in 2018. Questions like: Is the saxophone cool, or is it too real to be cool? If your cowo...Show More
Important If True 44: Stream Frasier Online Free

1:15:15 | Jan 5th, 2018

It's a brand new year, time for fresh starts, time to throw those old cares away. Well, we know that's easier said than done, so we'll try and take care of a few big questions we know are on everyone's mind going into 2018. Questions like: What is yo...Show More
Important If True 43: The Bad Gift Special

48:23 | Dec 29th, 2017

When someone says, "the gift that keeps on giving," they're usually describing something good, something exciting, something people want. But what about the bad gifts? The gift you ask for but regret? The gift you already have, then foist off onto a ...Show More
Important If True 42: The Ghosts of Hoistmas Past

58:01 | Dec 22nd, 2017

You thought you were getting a new episode this week? We have news for you: Ho-Ho-Hoisted. That's right, it's bullshit Holiday Clip Show episode time, in which we are visited by ghosts (and goblins) of Important If True's past, and are are reminded ...Show More
Important If True 41: A Very Happy Cow

1:03:00 | Dec 16th, 2017

There are certain pieces of knowledge, things one has observed or learned, that become like a single grain of sand in the folds of the brain. An itch you can't scratch, can't make go away. Something you know to be true but no one else sees, or the ti...Show More
Important If True 40: Tactical Turtle and the Songsmith

1:14:43 | Dec 10th, 2017

With Nick Breckon now contained within the computerized realm, this week's Important If True takes an algorithmic bent as we soldier on to discuss the issues that matter most. For instance: If you blast Billy Idol from a boombox while covering your b...Show More
Important If True ?!: No Podcast This Week

03:13 | Dec 2nd, 2017

Nick Breckon is somewhere on the West Coast of North America, and that's all we know. Unfortunately we don't have an episode for you this week, as we're still sorting this all out. Listen in as we fumble our way towards that conclusion, and stick aro...Show More
Important If True 38: The Terrible Power of Knowledge

1:04:14 | Nov 17th, 2017

Things are starting to come together. Everything is clicking into place. But somehow…it's not adding up. The more you understand, the less sense it all makes. Fortunately, we're here to help, so ask away. For instance: Why is the number 314 omniprese...Show More
Important If True 37: Uncharacteristically Cursed

1:02:49 | Nov 9th, 2017

We're not sure what your friend told you when they handed you this podcast, but you might not want to press play. Not because it's bad or something (we're pretty proud of it actually), but because, let's just say, it's incredibly cursed. If you dare ...Show More
Important If True 36: Never Say Goodbye

1:00:58 | Nov 3rd, 2017

Nothing is permanent, especially not these days. You look away for a second and look back, and the world around you has changed, subtly. A TV you swear wasn't there a moment before is yelling at you about something that doesn't exist yet. Your friend...Show More
Important If True 35: Hammacher, Schlemmer, and You

57:57 | Oct 27th, 2017

When we walked into your living room, and our eyes fell on your fine imported Brazilian Eucalyptis Coffee Table With Integrated Aquarium, we couldn't help but notice that the smartphone, tablet, or other in-home electronic device that signifies your ...Show More
Important If True 34: This is Celebrity Explainer

57:46 | Oct 19th, 2017

Can cold spaghetti enable your rise as a charismatic cult leader? How do you outrun your own 17-hour-tape-delayed ghost? How do you fight your homeowner's association? The world is confusing. Fortunately, each week, there's one source to which you ca...Show More
Important If True 32: A Wish Upon a Star

1:10:00 | Oct 5th, 2017

Your dreams have come true, assuming you dream of a podcast in which we do our best to work through the world's biggest questions, starting with these: Why are twentysomething Canadian robots putting septuagenarian Canadian humans out of work? Is Goo...Show More
Important If True 31: The Illusion of Control

1:01:01 | Sep 28th, 2017

We're going on a trip through the world's most bizarre mysteries, unanswerable conundrums, and dumb news, and it's going to take a while, so pack something healthy. No, we said healthy. Okay, fine if that's what you want. This week: If you have to ba...Show More
Important If True 30: The Octopus Affair

1:09:00 | Sep 21st, 2017

While we grapple with the mysteries of the world around us, while we do our best to solve your conundrums, provide you with advice, and tease out your bizarre hypothetical situations, we are being watched. Watched, judged, and pitied, by beings beyon...Show More
Important If True 29: Untethered From Reality

1:00:53 | Sep 14th, 2017

Each week we do our best to take your deeply important questions, distill them down to their essence, and find the truth within. Or something we make up. But sometimes, once in a big moon, the truth hits too close to home, burns too hot, is too real....Show More
Important If True 28: It Will Not Be Reused

1:03:32 | Sep 7th, 2017

You probably think you're pretty smart. Well, Einstein, chew on this: If a tree falls in an empty forest in an empty universe, does it make a virtual sound? Is Colonel Sanders really a powerful sorcerer? And, if so, can he bid Chuck E. Cheese robots ...Show More
Important If True 27: Join and Undermine

1:04:53 | Aug 31st, 2017

Careful listeners might detect a hidden message in this podcast. Are you attuned to our frequency? Keep that in mind as you ponder these eternal mysteries: Is it better to smell a rose, or is it better to get your ass going? Are sneeze sabotage strat...Show More
Important If True 25: The Fresno Experiment

1:06:06 | Aug 10th, 2017

Our weekly attempt to decipher greater truths from the bustle and hum of the world gets sidetracked, by the loudest hum ever heard. As we listen to what sounds like the vibration of a tens of thousands of tiny wings amplify with urgency, we ask ourse...Show More
Important If True !!: No Podcast This Week :(

01:43 | Aug 3rd, 2017

Due to complicated mismatched travel plans coincidentally spread across all three of us for much of August, we have been unable to avoid skipping a couple podcasts this month. Sorry, everyone! For the next few weeks, we'll be publishing biweekly (tha...Show More
Important If True 24: Eye Explodes, Brain Expands

1:06:57 | Jul 26th, 2017

If a podcast could answer all your deepest questions about existence, would you listen to it? Before you answer, consider this week's conundrums: Does an Amazon shopping algorithm know your own home better than you do? Are meme GIFs contagious, and i...Show More
Important If True 23: To Me, To Me, To Me

1:00:19 | Jul 20th, 2017

A podcast of deeply important questions, asked by you, answered by us as truthfully as we can. This week: What is Jeff Goldblum doing in hundreds of the world's bathrooms? If an artificial intelligence is forced to speak English, are its civil rights...Show More
Important If True 22: Air Bud and the Average Man

1:03:02 | Jul 13th, 2017

As you bolt upright in bed, head still swimming, are you awake or do are you still in the realm of dreams? And while you're pondering that, consider these conundrums: Which television program is a bigger ratings success: News Tonight or Nooz Tonite? ...Show More
Important If True 21: The Real Monkeys

54:04 | Jul 7th, 2017

There are more questions, problems, and conundrums out there than can possibly be addressed in a lifetime, but we're doing our part, starting with these: Why did someone hide a room full of monkeys out in the desert, and what are the monkeys inside t...Show More
Important If True 20: Christmas is Canceled

1:04:05 | Jun 30th, 2017

If you had the ultimate power of suggestion over your friends, but only when mumbling while pretending to sleep, how would you use it? Will a coterie of highly specialized Christmas spirits put Santa out of a job? Why die alone on Mars when you can w...Show More
Important If True 19: Pearls Before Slime

58:43 | Jun 22nd, 2017

The most deeply important questions on your minds, advised and distilled by us. This week: Why are genies skeptical of your perfect wish to save mankind from itself? Does a robot that eats and poops have a favorite food? Does it feel shame? Is it you...Show More
Important If True 18: Important If Rhymes With True

1:06:26 | Jun 15th, 2017

This week things really hit the fan. If you're finding yourself clogged up with steaming, burning questions, if you're knee deep in problems and need advice, relax: We're here in a pinch to flush out the truth. This week: What are the Russians hiding...Show More
Important If True 17: What Dreams Are Dumb

59:33 | Jun 8th, 2017

What stuff, exactly, are dreams made of? Can a robot priest interpret them and, if necessary, absolve you? And, if you didn't believe our embarrassing story about poop, maybe you'll believe this other guy's? All of your questions, your problems, you...Show More
Important If True 16: The Pizza, the Bee, and the Trash Can

1:08:27 | Jun 1st, 2017

We cannot sanction your buffoonery. But we can, and will, personally hand-deliver your questions to Lord Hoistmas. Questions like: What is the true secret of the real 90s? How do you cleverly cover up an regrettable tattoo? And would you eat the best...Show More
Important If True 15: Sexual Sneezing

1:01:27 | May 25th, 2017

Your questions, advised definitively. This week: Would you forego the need to eat if it meant you couldn't reproduce? Can a person like sneezing too much? Like, WAY too much? Is the Law & Order theme song actually a dog? And finally, were we—technica...Show More
Important If True 14: Your Worst Nightmare

1:00:52 | May 18th, 2017

The world is full of minutiae so inconsequential and baffling that sorting through it all isn’t worth your time. Good thing we’re here to sort through it for you! This week: How does a factory farmed chicken cross the road? Do the ‘90s have the emoti...Show More
Important If True 13: "Veggie" Panino and the Nightmare Puzzler

1:02:01 | May 11th, 2017

If you come across a stranger on a dark, empty road in the middle of the night, and they tell you they can answer any question you ask, we hope you pick one of these: Does somewhere exist because you've dreamed about it over and over? Why does Lightn...Show More
Important If True 12: Once You Start, You Can't Stop

55:12 | May 4th, 2017

One day you open the photos app on your cell phone and find it's identified and categorized all of your best friends. Why look, there's a whole album of Chris playing Jurassicanji. Do you even know anyone named Chris? And there's your buddy Herbert. ...Show More
Important If True 11: The Purity of a Child's Boredom

58:04 | Apr 27th, 2017

Learning something new can feel like someone flipped on a light switch in your mind. If that person in your mind could flip the switch off and on whenever they wanted, controlling which things you remember and which you forget, we hope you’d hold ont...Show More
Important If True 10: The Rooster's Stupid Secret

1:01:59 | Apr 20th, 2017

You've been given the chance to re-live your life from the start, with everything you know now. A chance to right wrongs, a chance to show them all? Maybe, if you're lucky. A chance—with our help—to really figure out the mysteries of the world that y...Show More
Important If True 9: Wetzel's Podcasts

1:01:42 | Apr 13th, 2017

No one asked us to answer these questions. No one asked these questions at all, but as hosts of this podcast we must do our best: If a tree falls in the middle of a forest and it doesn't leave a will, who gets all its stuff? What's hidden in Chef Boy...Show More
Important If True 8: Ghosts 'n Goblins

58:41 | Apr 6th, 2017

The truth often hides just beneath the surface. Especially when that surface is a Furby’s skin, which is also a ghost. So what happens when our children decide they love their robot friends more than us? Before that can happen, how many pounds of spi...Show More
Important If True 7: Human Behavior

1:09:37 | Mar 30th, 2017

The universe is infinitely complex, filled with unlimited possibilities. To get to the truth we must tear down our preconceptions and ask real questions, like: Why does your friend remember a movie that never existed? How bad of a driver does your ca...Show More
Important If True 6: Get Hoisted

1:01:40 | Mar 23rd, 2017

If you could go back to King Arthur times, how would you impress all those medieval idiots? Would you dazzle them with memes? Would they celebrate you, or hoist you? Who's the man, they might ask? Are you the man? Find out, in over 45 minutes of audi...Show More
Important If True 5: The Convergence Compulsion

1:00:57 | Mar 16th, 2017

Some questions are like an itch you can't scratch, or worse, an itch you can scratch as much as you'd like, but the itch doesn't go away. Today we indulge our compulsions and scratch away at the unscrachable, like: When did George Clooney start showi...Show More
Important If True 4: A Thousand Dormant Machines

1:01:35 | Mar 9th, 2017

The road to the truth can take you through some dangerous places, so keep the windows up, the doors locked, and never, ever get out of the car. Or ignore that advice, and follow us down the truth’s seedier and long-forgotten offramps, in search of th...Show More
Important If True 3: The Power of 45 Brains

1:06:18 | Mar 2nd, 2017

A researcher has determined that by 2025, if you string all our smart devices together—our Amazon Alexas and always-online talking teddy bears, our color-changing light bulbs and remote-controlled doorknobs—they will have the combined thinking power ...Show More
Important If True 2: Fight Garbage With Garbage

1:04:40 | Feb 23rd, 2017

The great mysteries of our time lie before us, hovering tantalizingly out of reach, so instead we set our sights on the achievable. This week: What happens when flame robots battle garbage? Where's the intersection of George Michael and Matlock? And ...Show More
Important If True 1: A Gleaming Collaborative Future

1:03:35 | Feb 16th, 2017

I can't believe we've done this. It's a brand new podcast. Join us, won't you? We're delving into the minutiae of pop culture, technology, and our own lives to find some kind of meaning—or at least to spin everything out as absurdly as we can. This w...Show More
Important If True 0: Our Newest Show

05:08 | Feb 9th, 2017

In an effort to understand the baffling world around us, we take your questions about the most fascinating, inane, and inexplicable happenings you can find, and draw them out to their most extended—and almost definitely inaccurate—conclusions. Join C...Show More